Random stuff

I thought this was pretty funny - Arrested man looks just like Beavis from "Beavis and Butthead"

Last night my coworker Petra and I went to see the movie Waitress. It totally made me want to bake some pies! Then we went out to dinner at Casa de Lara. They have the BEST taco salads - they throw in tons of delicious veggies like carrots and celery and cucumbers.

I got to work at 6:45 to help with a pancake breakfast sponsored by our employee association. I can't believe I got up so early, especially since I didn't go to bed until 2:00 last night. I seriously smell like pancakes and sausage now.

Other than that.. yeah, my coworker Sara's hooking me up with a fish recipe she got in her Indian cooking class. And I'm going to be making fried rice one of these days - the peas are already thawing in my fridge.

God, I'm boring myself. It's time to do something else now.

Today's Lunch:
Peanut butter and jelly (see yesterday's lunch for details)
Banana
Baby carrots

Niger pictures

This is a link to a blog of a married couple that is in Niger for the Peace Corps.

http://timandjolene.com/?p=28

I really enjoyed the pictures and maybe you will, too.

Jamaica me hungry! (Part 2)

Last week Kevin and I did some Jamaican cooking. I'm really having fun learning about the foods of another culture.

First we prepared some sorrel. In the U.S. we refer to sorrel as a green used for lettuce or for cooking, but in Jamaica sorrel is the calyx of the flower on the Roselle plant.

It's steeped in hot water similar to the way we make tea. Then it is allowed to cool, sugar is added, and the result is a delicious beverage that tastes like a mix between cranberries and blackberries. It also has a deep red color.

Kevin's mom brought with her some sorrel when she visited from Jamaica last summer. Kevin had it in the freezer until now. We placed the sorrel in a pot with some water and fresh ginger and let it boil. Then we strained it with cheesecloth to get all the little particles out, and we were left with a liquid akin to cranberry juice.

The next day we mixed it with a little rum (Appleton is the best, according to K) and had a nice, refreshing drink.

While the sorrel was doing its thing, we started making some Jamaican beef patties, or, in Michigan lingo, pasties with Jamaican flair.

Kevin had made them before, and while they tasted okay he said the crust wasn't flaky enough and the filling was too firm (he likes it to ooze out when he takes a bite, similar to the patties at Juici Beef). Since I'm more familiar with pastry, I made the crust while he worked on the filling.

The crust was easy to make but difficult to work with. However, once I got the hang of it I managed to roll it out to a decent thickness and size. We worked on the filling for a long time, doing a lot of tasting and hemming and hawing about when to add the breadcrumbs and scallions and thyme (the recipe we used was found here).

Some photos:








It was like 1:30 by the time we finished, but I had to try one (excuse my scariness). It was really hot and spicy and tasty!


The crust came out nice and flaky, even by Kevin's standards. But we thought the filling could have been runnier (i.e. use less breadcrumbs) and personally I thought we should have cut the scallions and scotch bonnet peppers into smaller pieces and added them earlier so they'd add more flavor. NOTE: I think my family would really like this. I will have to make it for them over the holidays while I am their kitchen slave.

Today's Lunch:
Peanut butter sandwich (same stuff as yesterday) with strawberry preserves
Apple
Big sourdough pretzel

Reallyfastentry

Lots of pictures to show off, but haven't had a chance to download them yet.

New news:
I applied for Leave Without Pay for the time while I'm in the Peace Corps (that's like a leave of absence, a way to keep my job while I'm gone). However, my request was denied so it looks like I'll have to resign from my job. I think it's for the better. I'm excited to join the Peace Corps and will appreciate the time off to think about what I want to do with my life. And maybe when my 2 years are over, I can do some traveling before returning to the states. Or I can live on my sister's couch for a week without having to worry about when to return to work. I think it's a good thing.

Today's Lunch:
Peanut butter sandwich (natural, creamy, honey-peanut butter on Trader Joe's seeded semolina bread)
Banana

I am not a crook

You may have noticed from previous posts (here and here) that I lived in a house for 3 days back in August and had to move suddenly because I was accused of stealing a "valuable" painting.

The landlord was this awful man, Michael Shaskevich, who, when googling his name, I realized is involved in anti-semitic groups, giving me the impression that he is a bigot. However, everything he wrote on the forums was in Serbian Croatian, which I cannot translate even with online translators, so I don't know for sure.

Like I said, I spoke to a detective from the Madison Police Department the other day about the situation with the painting. I got the impression the detective didn't think Michael's claim about me and/or Kevin stealing his painting was relevant for the following reasons:

• He claimed the painting was worth $5,000 but didn't know its title or who the artist was
• When speaking to the detective, he said that between Kevin and me I was the "more sophisticated" person
• Neither Kevin nor I have any type of criminal record
• He chose to pick on me and Kevin when there are at least three other people living in the house and one other person helped me move my stuff in
  

Being kicked out of my house was very stressful to me and caused a lot of pain and anguish. It doesn't help that the man called my workplace and spoke to our Director's secretary and to my group's secretary, bringing the problem to my workplace and making me look bad. Also, he didn't really need to call my parents or visit my former landlords to ask them questions about me and make it seem like I was a criminal.

The fact that he called my workplace and lied to my group's secretary as a way of trying to get my personal phone number can be considered a crime, and someone mentioned I could sue him for that. Not that I would.. I really don't need to be involved in legal stuff right now, but still.

Kevin spoke to the detective yesterday and we both agreed that the detective was super nice and seemed to understand that Mr. Shaskevich is a lunatic. I hope that the case gets closed soon and we can put this all behind us.

Today's Lunch:
Imperial Garden with coworker Mike (his last day) - I had Imperial Chicken with white rice and crab rangoons and egg drop vegetable soup - yummy!

Verbal vomit (in other words, random thoughts)

• I could really go for some Doritos right now
• Today is my annual review with my boss. I'm going to ask her if she'd be willing to keep me on as an employee while I'm in the Peace Corps. Wish me luck!
• Tomorrow Kitty gets her rabies shot. She's almost done with her quarantine period.
• The stairwell project across the hall is coming along. I like chatting with the dudes as they're walking through the hall. They let me look in the closed-off room where they're working, and yeah.. it's pretty much an office without the ceiling. It's totally open to the outside. It's so cool.
  
• I'm going to a lutefisk dinner at a Lutheran church next friday. Lutefisk is a traditional Norweigan food and consists of whitefish preserved in lye. It becomes really jellied sitting there in the lye (AJ, any equations on the breakdown of protein in a caustic solution? lol), then it is soaked in cold water for a few days before it's cooked. It sounds scary but I've always wanted to try it.
• Kevin and I have been inseparable since we met at the end of May. He truly makes me happy. I'm really going to miss him when I leave next month.
  

Today's Lunch:
Leftover Moroccan chicken stew

Appointment with the police

Check out this video about malnutrition in Niger. It aired on 60 Minutes sunday night and my parents called and told me to watch it.



Also, today I got a call from the Madison Police Department. A detective is coming to my office today to talk with me about the alleged "stolen" painting. I totally have nothing to hide and I'm more than happy to talk with him, but I can't believe the ex-landlord is still pursuing this. And I can't help but be just a tad bit nervous. :)

Today's Lunch:
Going to Panera Bread with coworker Petra

Friday's Lunch (that's for you, Alanna):
Mac and cheese at Noodles and Company
Like, a gallon of Diet Coke

Weekend stuff, nothing too exciting

Nothing exciting to post. I celebrated my birthday friday with Kevin - he took me out for Thai food, then I dragged him to a "white, old-people bar" for pinball, which was a blast. Then I dragged him to the Old Fashioned, a bar in Madison that I heard had pickled eggs. I miss my UP pickled eggs and decided it would be good to have one on my birthday. The egg was good, but was missing the softness and complexity of a good ol' Houghton bar egg. It wasn't homemade so it had been sitting in the brine for so long that it became rubbery. But oh well, it was still a fun treat.

We eventually went to the ONE club in Madison that is 21+ and plays good music. We were having a good time until a run-in with Kevin's crazy ex threatened to ruin our evening. Ech!

Saturday I did some hard-core shopping but managed not to spend a ton of money. Then I had dinner with Zach as a "farewell, enjoy life" kind of thing. It was good to see him again and I was able to kind of see things from a different perspective - the things I like about him, the things that I don't like about him. Overall it was a good time.

Tonight my former real estate agent and home insurance agent are taking me out for drinks. Yay!

Today's Lunch:
Leftover Moroccan chicken stew
Couscous

Links

Having a bad day at the office and need to vent? This game was really fun. And my workplace isn't even stressful.

http://www.eyegas.com/cubiclefreakout/

This guy tested out the accuracy of Domino's online pizza ordering system. I thought his review was hilarious.

http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000707.php

If you are like me and get easily distracted, you're in luck! Someone invented "horse blinkers" for humans.

http://www.neatorama.com/2007/10/19/office-collar/

Today's Lunch:
Noodles and Co mac and cheese
Gallon o' Diet Coke

In other news...

Some randomness for you:

• I'm listening to Anne of Green Gables on my mp3 player. It's a good book; I think it was too difficult for me to read when I was a kid. I like how Anne is so imaginative and romantic and wise beyond her years. I always liked the movie when I was a kid.
  
• I'm starting a book called The Ghost Mountain Boys. It's about WWII soldiers fighting in New Guinea (just north of Australia) and how they had to walk through miles of rugged jungle with no rations just to get to their battle site. Then this guy, the author of the book, re-enacts the trek across New Guinea, just to get an idea of how bad it was for the soldiers. I just started the book and so far it's really confusing because he's just laying down facts about the war, but I'm sure it will pick up later on.
  
• At work I'm involved in a group that provides all sorts of fun activities to employees to improve morale and provide a means of socializing. We're organizing an all-employee pancake breakfast for Halloween morning. 3 pancakes, 3 sausages, $3. It's going to be great.
• Speaking of pancakes, I've been craving them and finally bought some real maple syrup. I hope to make some cakes this weekend.
• I've nixed the princess birthday cake for now. I've been busy the last few nights and don't have time to bake a big ol' cake. So I will have to do it next month or when I'm in Michigan.
  
• Tomorrow is my birthday, yay! I plan to work for a few hours, but if the weather's nice I'll take the day off and do something fun.

A real sweetheart

On tuesday I dropped by my coworker Barb's office to have her sign a card, and this woman named Kolby was in her office.

I don't know Kolby very well; we've had a few chats but she works in another building so I don't get to see her too often. However, she's a very nice, outgoing woman and I really like her.

We started chatting about my Peace Corps stuff (everyone is interested to hear the details, ha ha) and eventually the conversation turned to my packing list. I told Barb and Kolby that I was going to a sporting goods store to get some lightweight cotton shirts that I could wear in Niger. Kolby told me she had some shirts she could give me, and when I asked for details, she said she bought some shirts from the Duluth Trading Co. for kayaking, but they were too small. Kolby is a little bigger than me in the shoulders and chest, so she thought they might fit me.

When I came to work yesterday the shirts were on my chair, along with a really nice card full of encouraging words about my Peace Corps experience. The shirts are awesome - really lightweight, with vents in the armpits. They're button-down collared shirts, so I'll always look professional. And they're long enough to tuck in. Kolby must have good taste, because the shirts she bought were two of my favorite colors - light green and light blue!

The shirts were so high-quality that I'm guessing she bought them for $40 apiece. It was so nice of her to give them to me. I already wrote out a thank-you note.

Today's Lunch:
Leftover fava beans (here's the recipe) with
Yeast-leavened cornbread (recipe here)
Cherry-filled chocolate, lots of it :)

Michi-history

I've always wondered what the deal is with Michigan's Upper Peninsula. I've heard rumors about how Michigan came to own this random chunk of land in northern Wisconsin - it was fighting over Chicago with Illinois, it had something to do with Toledo, Ohio, Wisconsin gave it to Michigan out of the goodness of its cheese-loving heart...

So I did a little research to finally get the scoop. It took a few hours of scouring Wikipedia, jotting down notes on my little notepad, and, finally, drawing crappy diagrams (where the LP looks like a mitten and the UP looks like a shark). But I think I've finally figured it out. I would like to note, however, that I may not have all the facts straight, so if you are a Michigan history scholar, feel free to correct me.

The History of Michigan's Upper Peninsula, as interpreted by Crystal

1787 - The Northwest Ordinance is passed by the Continental Congress. It states where the Northwest Territory is and what territories have to do to become states. It consists of present-day Michigan, Ohio, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, and parts of Minnesota.

The Ohio area was kicking butt, population-wise, and wanted to become a state. The requirement to become a state was to have a population of 60,000, and Ohio only had 45,000 people, but since it was growing so fast Congress allowed it to become a state.

So in 1800, the Northwest Territory was divided into two territories - the Northwest Territory (green) and the Indiana Territory (yellow).

In 1803, Ohio was admitted as a state. Yay. Everything else became part of Indiana Territory.


Okay, so what happened next? Michigan became a territory in 1805, claiming eastern U.P. The remaining land stayed as Indiana Territory.


Then Indiana and Illinois became states (1816 and 1818, respectively) and the remaining land got added onto Michigan.


Soon Wisconsin territory was formed. I'll spare you the boring details, but here's what it looked like. The portion of the UP that's red unofficially belonged to Wisconsin Territory and Michigan really just wanted the mitten.


*I'm starting to think that Michigan kind of sucked - it lost land to Wisconsin Territory, it was, like, the last state in the midwest to become a state, and, as you will read later, it was kind of whiny.

Everything was just peachy until Michigan wanted to become a state. I don't know why it took so long, but it was realized there were some boundary problems with Ohio.

I blame it on the map-making people. Back in 1805, they thought Michigan looked like this:



And the description of Michigan Territory said that Michigan would consist of all the land that reached the bottoms of Lake Michigan and Lake Huron. If you look at this map, you will see that Toledo is situated where Lake Michigan and Lake Erie meet.



SO.. according to Michigan, it owned that strip of land. And Ohio was like, "no, we were here first and we owned it first so go away." And Michigan was all, "well fine, we're going to send our militia your way and you will all die." And Ohio was like, "bring it."

So Michigan and Ohio were fighting over this little strip of land that was called the Toledo Strip. Back then Toledo was very valuable (unlike the Toledo we know today (just kidding)), so I can understand why they both wanted it so badly. I mean, just look at where it's located - that's prime shipping area, and the land was mostly inaccessible due to major swampage.



Michigan and Ohio each did their bratty little things to try to claim the land. Michigan built roads, established local government, and began collecting taxes. Ohio had the advantage of already being a state and used that power to discourage other states from voting for Michigan's joining of the Union. Michigan's governor passed an act making it a criminal offense for Ohioans to carry out governmental activities in the Strip and set up militia to protect it. Ohio retaliated by setting up their own militia on their side of the land.

After some battles, a little bit of bloodshed, and a lot of stubbornness from each side, the feds intervened. They told Michigan if it wanted to become a state, it would have to let Ohio keep the Toledo Strip and instead take this hunk of wilderness in northern Wisconsin Territory. Apparently they reached this decision based on political gain (what politician doesn't?), but we'll not go into that now. Michigan agreed, and that is how we got the Michigan we know today.



Poor U.P.... the land nobody wanted. Little did they know that the wild tract of land in northern Wisconsin Territory would actually be full of valuable resources, including copper, iron, and lumber. Who's laughing now, Ohio?? :)

Today's Lunch:
Lots of snacking.. no real lunch
Snacks consisted of:

• Cinnamon raisin bagel with whipped cream cheese
• Three hours later, an apple, banana, and two slices of pizza (from Greenbush Bar - thin crust with artichoke hearts, tomatoes, and roasted red pepper)

Welding

There is welding going on outside my office door as part of the "build a stairwell project" and sparks are flying everywhere, even hitting my door. It's a little unnerving and I'm afraid to leave. :)

Latest adventures

Cooking adventures
I've started making dinner for Kevin once a week. Two weeks ago we had curried beef stir fry, and last week I tried my hand at oxtail with beans and rice (see the recipe here). This week I think I'll make Moroccan chicken stew with sweet potato pudding (sweet potato pudding is sweet potato pie without the crust). Kevin isn't crazy about my favorite foods (hamburgers, spaghetti, and midwestern meat and potatoes) so I use our dinner dates as an opportunity to try out exotic recipes. In the meantime, he recently cooked tripe and has parts of a goat to use for future endeavors (the head and feet, I think). Interesting.

Travel adventures
Speaking of Kevin, we took a little roadtrip on saturday. He wanted to look at a car in Indiana, so I came along in case he decided to purchase it. It was a fun trip. We chatted in the car on the way there, and saw some neat things - a retro gas pump, crazy drivers, construction in Chicago.. okay, it wasn't all neat, but still an adventure all the same.

On the way back I experienced love at first sight...


We were driving through Chicago and I couldn't stop staring at this beautiful car in the next lane. It was so smooth and white with clean lines and a huge, shiny grill. I also noticed the big hood ornament on the front. I'm not usually a car person, but this one really caught my eye. When we stopped at an oasis, I told Kevin about the car, and he knew exactly what I was talking about! I couldn't stop thinking about it and told him it was so beautiful I was going to make it my computer's desktop picture. It's a Rolls Royce Phantom. I guess I have expensive taste. :)

Edit: I was just looking at Yahoo Cars and saw the MSRP is $333K. I'd have to get a loan to make just one payment on that puppy!

Birthday adventures
I'm turning 26 this friday, and have decided what kind of cake I want to make for myself (I don't mind making my own birthday cake because I love baking so much). When I was a kid, I used to draw pictures of cakes on birthday cards. My dream cake was pink and frilly with garlands and bows on the sides (this was back in my princess days, before I became a pre-teen and wanted to be a tomboy). I am going to make myself a cake like this for my birthday using yellow cake. It will be great!

Today's Lunch:
Leftover oxtail with beans and rice
Banana

Nobel Peace Prize winner

My coworker Ken was on the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), who, along with Al Gore, won the Nobel Peace Prize.

No matter that the IPCC consists of 2,500 people.. in our book, Ken is still da man!



Notice the great sign our coworkers made for him...


I like how this one makes it look like Ken and Al Gore were working together exclusively, like there weren't 2500 people on the committee.


Here's the actual document he was working on.


Congratulations, Ken! (and did I mention he's from Marquette, MI? Go UP!)

Good things

I've been feeling kind of crummy lately, most likely from stress and hormones, and my self esteem has taken a dive. A couple days ago I did some internet research on raising self esteem, and I found an article about helping people as a way to help yourself. Since I am no longer doing any volunteer work, I thought that part of my life might be missing, and if I did something good for somebody, I might feel better as a result.

It worked. It didn't have to be anything special, just thinking about others. Here's what I did:

• I sent an email to two friends who I hadn't been in contact with for a while.
• I snail-mailed an article to my dad regarding a book he might like to read
  
• I snail-mailed my brother Joe this article from The Onion about someone stealing a calzone from an Enterprise Rent-a-Car employee (Joe used to work for ERAC).
• I sent a card to my former landlords, TT and Annie. Annie's father just passed away.
• Last night I made a casserole for my former landlords. I made a tomato sauce from italian sausage, fennel, canned tomatoes, and a little red wine (I got the recipe from the best vegetable cookbook in the world). Then I mixed it with penne pasta and threw on some mozzarella and fresh-grated parmesan cheese. They were really surprised and happy and it made me feel good!
• I sent out emails to all my friends who responded to my mass email about joining the Peace Corps. Today someone took me out to lunch, and in a couple of weeks I'm going to get some drinks with some ladies, and I'm also going to lunch with Zach.

Seriously, it feels so good to be back in contact with people and out of my little rut. And it helps to do something nice for someone, even if it's just sending them an article. :)

Today's Lunch:
Lunch with Jo, former van driver. We ate at the UW Hospital cafeteria. I had cashew chicken, which was awful, but managed to force it down (why do I keep getting the Asian food when it's always a disappointment???)

It's one of those days

The weather's crummy, I'm tired and craving sugar, and I just want to go home and hang out with Kitty.

But first I'm going to Wal-Mart. :)

Zach cracks me up!

I wrote out this mass email telling friends (who don't read my blog) about my Peace Corps assignment. Zach doesn't read my blog, so I included him in my email. He responded that he'd like to get together before I go, so I told him I'm available any day of the week except for wednesdays because I can't miss America's Next Top Model. His response?

Crystal

OMG, Miss J's Afro.
I'm free during the weekends.

I couldn't stop laughing.

Speaking of Zach, I recently had some old film developed and there was a great picture of us. Thought I'd share.



Yup, back in the the days before our relationship became a friendship...

Today's Lunch:
2 pieces leftover Papa Murphy's pizza (with salami, pepperoni, sausage, onion, and black olives)
Apple

Wedding cake question

Ooh, question for all you brides, former brides, and brides-to-be:

How much did you pay for your wedding cake?

I'm thinking about putting an ad on craigslist and don't know how much to charge per slice. What's the going rate these days? I'd probably ask 75% the cost of what people would pay a professional to do, since I'm not a pro and my cakes aren't perfect. :)

Thanks for your help.

TV

I think I could do without watching Grey's Anatomy. It's just become too soapy for me. Where's the humor? Where's the silliness? It's all about freakin' love triangles and I'm going to put it into my category 2 TV watching.

I just thought of this idea, categorizing my TV shows. Category 1 means I have to see it, and will plan my schedule around watching it. These are the shows that I turn up the volume on and only dash off to the kitchen or bathroom during commercials. If someone calls while this show is on, I won't answer the phone. Yeah, I'm obsessed with Category 1 shows. Category 2 means I will still kind of plan my schedule around seeing it, but I could go without. It's more like watching a show out of habit. Category 3 is a show that I like and know when it comes on, but that I can only watch on occasion and don't really plan my schedule around. And Category 4 is a show that I will watch only when flipping through the channels and seeing that it's on.

So here's my list:

Category 1.
America's Next Top Model
Gossip Girl

Category 2.
King of Queens
Sex and the City
Grey's Anatomy

Category 3.
Friends
Beauty and the Geek

Category 4.
Entertainment Tonight
Law and Order
CSI

It would be great if I had a really snarky friend to watch ANTM with so we could make fun of Tyra and the contestants. And the Jays. And make sexy remarks about Nigel. *drool*

Today's Lunch:
More leftover chicken curry
Two mini Hershey bars to cut the spiciness of the curry

Hoo boy!

Thursday night I made some curried chicken and threw a scotch bonnet pepper into the pot. I just finished eating some of the leftovers, and my mouth is on fire! I'm glad I didn't throw in two like I had originally planned.

Approach with caution:


In other news, I placed an ad in our workplace bulletin trying to find Kitty a new home. Today one of my colleagues approached me and she seemed interested, but she already has a cat so we're going to introduce them to each other and see if they're compatible.

Today's Lunch:
Leftover curried chicken (drumstick, sweet potatoes, carrots, green pepper, onion and scotch bonnet pepper in curry sauce)

[whine]

I haven't been feeling great about myself lately. I'm guessing it's hormones, but I don't know for sure. It's just that my self esteem has plummeted and though I try to get it back up, it doesn't always work.

There are times where I feel ugly and fat and like a bad friend. There are times where I wonder why people don't want to be my friend and so I feel worthless. Sometimes I make mistakes and it's hard to forgive myself.

I feel like a failure at my job. I have absolutely no motivation to work or do anything worthwhile, and so I feel like I'm always in trouble with my boss, even though she's never mentioned anything. Annual employee reviews are coming and I'm dreading mine, though I dread my review every year and it always goes just fine.

I feel bad because Kevin's friends think I'm easy. And I feel even worse because I've proven it. And now Kevin, the one person I have close to me, might not even want to be with me anymore.

The only hope I have is to join the Peace Corps and put all this behind me. This job, this boyfriend, these bad feelings about myself. Maybe if I do something worthwhile I will start to feel better about myself.

Why do I do these things?

Why is it that when I'm in a relationship and everything seems to be going well and we're working on things that I cheat on my partner?

Is it revenge? Is it adventure and excitement? Is it to pull away? I'm so confused.

And the way I feel now... would I feel this remorse and agony if Kevin hadn't caught me? Or would I continue on with my life and wait for the bad feelings to go away, like they did in the past with these situations? What kind of heartless person am I to deliberately hurt somebody and to pull away without remorse? What is wrong with me? How did I become this person?

It started in high school with my boyfriend Dan. I wasn't really "in" to the relationship, and when I tried to break things off he begged me to stay with him. So I did. And lo and behold, later on, I came onto a coworker and we made out in the back room of BC Pizza. Then he took me home in his truck and we parked and I gave him a blowjob. Was I trying to pull away from Dan? Was I trying to make myself feel better about no longer having feelings for him? Was I fighting the feelings I had for him?

Then in college... the only boyfriend I didn't deliberately cheat on was Zach. For a while, anyway. I was so in to our relationship that I sacrificed a lot of things to stay with him and keep us happy. And it worked. I had never been so in love with anybody. But one day I was drunk and made out with another guy. It was stupid, but at least I confessed it to Zach. We eventually broke up over it, but when we got back together the next year we were closer than ever. It wasn't until about 4 years later when we got back together again that we knew things weren't right for us.

The list of boyfriends I've cheated on goes on. Justin, Shaggy, Jason, all for different reasons. The situation with Kevin is most similar to my situation with Justin. I felt intimidated by his age and experience with life. Maybe I thought he was better than me or just wanted to make myself feel better about some insecurity I had. Shaggy and Jason.. well, I just cheated on them because I knew things were already about to end. Especially with Jason. I no longer wanted to have sex with him and I was ready to move on.

I suppose that's what happened with Zach. I cheated on him twice since we were together in Madison, and by cheating I mean the whole nine yards. Twice with two different men. I wasn't into having sex with Zach from the very first time we had sex in Alaska. I should have seen that things weren't meant to be right from the start. And I think that a combination of alcohol and feelings of "does my body not work correctly?" made me want to see if I was really all right. And cheating on him didn't feel good. I feel bad that I've become such a dishonest person. What can I do differently next time? Not cheat? Not drink? If I cheat, should I tell the person?

I think I slept with Edi because I was mad at Kevin for these reasons:

• He lied about his living situation and his baby and didn't/doesn't seem to be remorseful
  
• He's admitted to cheating on girlfriends in the past, though in a nonspecific way ("you know when you're with someone and things aren't working out and you want to see what else is out there before you end things?")
• I felt he abandoned me when I saw his car was gone
• When he told me he'd never been cheated on, I felt that it couldn't be true. I also felt that it wasn't fair that he's cheated on people before and doesn't expect to get the same treatment back. I was afraid he would cheat on me and I'd never know and he would always have the upper hand because he was the cheater. Who is he to think he'd never get cheated on or that he had never been cheated on?
  

I didn't realize how wonderful of a person he is. I didn't know Kevin was so straight-laced but yet still adventurous; wonderful qualities, in my opinion. I didn't know he was such a good boyfriend. I always knew he wasn't cheating on me, but that's to be expected from anyone. I can also see that he's a great father and would be a good partner for me.

But I think we have trust issues, definitely. Now they are even worse. But I feel that Kevin has been regaining my trust steadily these past few months, and hopefully I can regain his trust.

African wedding

Kevin's friend Abu and his fiance, Mia, got married last weekend. Some photos:

Mia looked so beautiful in her wedding gown, and Abu looked handsome in his African clothes.


Kevin was the best man. He wore African clothing, too.


I volunteered to make the wedding cake. It was a huge project, but it was a lot of fun. Some highlights:

Gumpaste flowers - somehow I forgot to take pictures of the roses. They were really cool.




My table, covered in cakes:


For the buttercream frosting I had to use three sticks of butter, all sliced up. And that was only for 1/3 of the cake.


Since they were having a fall wedding and Mia's favorite color is burnt orange, I wanted to incorporate that somehow. So I made leaf-shaped sugar cookies to decorate around the base of the cake.


The cake:


Top tier: two white cakes stacked on top of each other, separated by cardboard circle
Second tier: same as top tier
Bottom tier: same as above, but with chocolate cake. I had to make three different chocolate cakes before I found one that worked well (the first one was too moist, the second one collapsed).

So yeah, that was exciting.

Today's Lunch:
It's Columbus Day, so I don't have to work. I haven't yet figured out what I'm eating for lunch.

Short attention span?

I don't know why, but when I hear people lecture I can't stand to listen to them for more than two minutes. It really takes a lot of concentration for me to focus on what they are saying, and because I don't like concentrating in that way, I usually don't listen. I either zone out or entertain myself by making fun of their voice or counting the number of times they say "uh" or "um." I know it's a bad habit but I can't seem to shake it.

I asked my coworker Marshall what this meant about me, and he said it means I'm antsy. I really think I'm a hands-on or reading learner, not a lecture learner. Maybe that's why I like cooking and crafts so much.

Today's Lunch:
Leftover curried beef stir fry with green beans and sweet potatoes over basmati rice
Honeycrisp apple

I'm alive

Hello blog, it's been awhile.

Joe and Mary's wedding was great. I was baking like a fool! Some baking highlights:

• Had some issues with clarified butter. I clarified it, let it sit out for a few hours, then when I needed it I stuck it in the microwave and after 10 seconds it exploded everywhere. I was so bummed. My mom made a run to the store for more cheesecloth and I clarified more butter and it was a pain in my butt.
• My pineapple curd came out perfectly! It was smooth and creamy and not at all lumpy.
  
• Had to make the genoise twice. The first time it came out flat as a pancake. There are 16 eggs in each genoise recipe, so I had to go out and buy more eggs. Then I had to clarify more butter for the second go-round.
  
• Mom brought my Kitchen Aid mixer back, and it was like we were long-lost lovers. I missed it so much.
• I threw out a lot of cake due to trimmings and mistakes. Now I know how professionals get cake for their samples.
• The red velvet cake was pretty dense, so I ended up multiplying the recipe by 7 instead of 4. That was a lot of red dye.

I baked all day thursday and friday, and then barely had enough time to finish up on saturday. As the reception was starting I was still putting on the finishing touches. But it turned out wonderfully! Nothing fell over, the icing didn't melt, and everything looked great. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to take pictures because I was rushing around everywhere and my hands were constantly covered in goo, but Becky took some and will hopefully be sharing them soon.

I was so concerned about running to the reception and setting up my cake that I could barely focus on Joe and Mary getting married. But when I did focus, it was beautiful and I started crying and the ladies behind me gave me a tissue. They are so perfect for each other. They are going to be so happy together. I can't believe my little brother is already married!

And my other little brother, Chico, is 21! Can you believe that? He's not much of a drinker, so at the reception I gave him some pointers on getting rid of nasty tequila shots without drinking them. Although I did see him chugging some champagne. :)

Today's Lunch:
Eggs and toast